Has anyone ever told you that you’re TOOOOO MUCH? That you are over the top? Well, I have heard this my entire life in anything and everything that I have done.
- My Job- You just cared to much, you don’t really know them.
- Rules- You took that to literal Charly
- My kids- You’re to much of an Overprotective Mom, you have to let them breathe.
- My marriage- You have such high standards of your husband.
- Playing Pranks- That’s not very mature.
- Laughing- It wasn’t that funny Charly
- Sports- You’re to competitive
- Saying I’m Sorry- You apologize to much
I mean, LITERALLY everything.
Listen, I am not an overachiever at all but when I am bought in to something…I am stinkin bought in. When I feel something…I feel ALL OF IT!
I have come to find that I am just a really intense person and since a young age I have always felt feelings intensely. It doesn’t always sit well with people, and sometimes can even make people uncomfortable, including people I am extremely close too.
If I’m being 100% honest then I would tell you that it used to bother me. I would seem confident in who I was but I was truly living in a constant prison where I let my thoughts spiral out of control. I used to question myself, question every little thing that I said, what I wore, even every joke that I laughed at… Why? Because I let people (Society) tell me I was “TOO MUCH” and I would believe them. I let them take away my MUCHNESS.
I found out that no matter what I did to please people that there was always someone who had a problem with me. Whether I was just trying to be myself or if I was trying to be what society told me to be… either way it was to much or not enough. Let me give you some examples. ⬇️
- Don’t be to loud because people will think you are annoying or pushy, but don’t be too quiet because people will walk all over you and ignore you completely.
- Have self respect, but don’t be cocky.
- Have good conversations but don’t talk to much.
- Be modest but don’t dress like a boy
- Be good but don’t be a goody goody (What does that even mean?)
LISTEN, don’t read this and think I am telling you to intentionally make others uncomfortable. If someone is being malicious, putting others in danger, or intentionally offensive, then that is NOT okay. In this situation, I would actually say that you or they ARE being “TOO MUCH”. These moments are easy to recognize because you’re attitude and what you are saying aren’t benefiting anyone around you, not even yourself. Been there, DON’T BE THAT GUY.
I’m trying to convey that if you feel the need to love hard then you need to love hard. If you feel the need to advocate for yourself or others then you need to advocate regardless of what some people may think of you. If you want to laugh uncontrollably at a dad joke then laugh… I mean who tells people to STOP laughing at a joke? Just let me laugh bro. If you want to wear a Fanny pack then wear a stinking Fanny pack and feel like a total boss when you do!
Trying to be someone you’re not, will make make you second-guess what you do, what you say, and make you feel unsure of who you actually are. You will end up becoming this whole other person that you don’t even recognize or even trust. Trust me, I know first hand.
If you even have the slightest idea of what I am talking about… Stay with me.
There have been times in my life where I have caused myself unnessacary stress because I was out of alignment with who I was.
When we walk through life constantly doubting every step or move we make, life becomes so much more difficult on us. Really think about the times that you have showed up somewhere and were authentically yourself and compare them to the times when you didn’t. Im right, aren’t I?
There is a sense of relief in showing up somewhere and hiding nothing of who you are. You don’t have to worry if people actually like you for who you are. You don’t have to keep a charade going in future occasions (Exhausting) You don’t have to feel like you weren’t true to yourself. AND you don’t have to spend one second of your time on people who want you to change who you are because it makes them feel better. You can just love some people from afar…at least that’s the way I see it.
I’m about to give y’all the most awkward example of social conditioning ever, so seriously continue at your own risk…
Do you ever wonder why people are embarrassed to POOP in public bathrooms? Told you it was gonna get awkward. Ha
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand its personal but when you have to go… you have to go.
Listen, I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) It’s honestly not something I’m extremely proud of, for obvious reasons, but I used to be soooo embarrassed of pooping in public bathrooms. I’ve mentioned this before, but there is an X-ray out there of Charly Rowe’s abdomen where gas bubbles can actually be seen because I was holding so much in. I would put myself in to literal physical pain because of this fear of judgement for pooping in an invention that was meant for this exact purpose.
Who’s with me?
Alright, story time.
One day my daughter came home and she was doubled over in pain. When I asked her what was wrong, she proceeded to tell me that other little girls were laughing at her because she tooted in the potty.
Because of this incident, my sweet baby had been holding in ALL gas and ALL bowels because she was to embarrassed to poop.. ALLLLL DAYYYY.
I swear that in this moment with my sweet girl that it was like looking in a mirror with my younger self. This kind of self doubt and embarrassment was not what I wanted my daughter to inherit from me.
You know, the pulling the toilet paper really hard so it will make a loud noise, coughing , turning on the water, praying someone will just flush a toilet so it will be louder than the plop in the water. She had inherited this unnecessary fear and embarrassment and I HATED it for her.
It was in this moment that something clicked..…
WHAT ARE OTHER PEOPLE DOING IN THE BATHROOM? Are they in there drinking the toilet water? Why are they so focused on other peoples final stages of digestion? Why are we putting our bodies through pain because people don’t understand that their own bodies are biologically programmed to release waste too. JUST POOP GIRL!
I had realized the example I had been setting for my daughter when we were in the bathroom… It was no wonder she was embarrassed when those little girls laughed at her… because she had seen me get embarrassed time and time again. I was a part of the problem. I would tell her to SSHHHH when she asked if I was pooping…you know, like kids always do in a public bathroom. Ha
All joking aside, this is where it all started for her.
Maybe this might actually be “too much” for some of you but you should know that the next decision I made was mortifying to me at first. However, if you are a parent reading this then you know that you will overcome SO much fear in service to your child.
With that being said…I now make it a point to at least pass gas in a toilet when my daughter is in the stall next to me regardless of how many other women are in there.
So my daughter can see that she is not weird, gross, or “to much” for using a toilet for it’s actual purpose. GASP! So she doesn’t put herself in pain because other people forgot that toilets are actually meant for deification.
Do people laugh at me… yes. Do I care… no. Poop is just waste from our body and if i can take my garbage waste out to the public curb without caring then I can poop in a public toilet.
Maybe I’m crazy, but some things just aren’t worth worrying about. Regardless of gender, this is something we can say that we all do and I just want my sweet daughter to embrace her inner poop goddess. I want her to break free of the pressures that are put on women to apparently never poop…
I never thought in my life that I would ever be writing for the masses about pooping in public restrooms but my hope is that you read this and see that there are things you are worried about regarding yourself that are actually not that big of an issue. It’s an issue because someone told you it was and you believed them. Reevaluate and if its not hurting anyone then be yourself, if its something you feel you need to change then change it.
We have one life that God has given us here on earth and this year I learned that I am so tired of being someone I am not for other peoples benefit when its not that big of deal to just be me. So, I’m going to love Jesus, I’m going to be goofy, I’m going to love hard, I’m going to be competitive, Im going to protect my children unapologetically, I’m going to have high standards for my marriage, I’m going to laugh at a dumb jokes to hard, I’m going to wear Fanny packs, I’m going to apologize when I feel I need to, I’m gonna poop when I need to, and I am done losing my MUCHNESS.
Don’t lose yours!
The Irish Tulip